Sometimes I get tired. I’m not talking about physically. That too, but on another level. I mean emotionally. Spiritually. I get tired of fighting the battle. It seems like I’m making progress in my relationship with my wife, or in my healing, or in my career, and then... WHAM. I get blind-sided by the charging Rhino from Hell. Everything drops back and I have to start all over.
It’s Sisyphean. Sisyphus was a king of Corinth in Greek mythology. He was not a good guy, to be very generous in his description. So when he died, his punishment was to roll a giant stone up a steep hill, a stone of just such a mass and dimension that as it reached the top it would get out of control and roll back down. Sisyphus would then have to descend and start again. This he was condemned to repeat for all eternity. So when you refer to a task as “Sisyphean” [sis-uh-fee-uhn] you’re expressing a feeling of utter futility.
Dying to Self is a Sisyphean task. The battle seems unending. Every time I think I’ve knocked Self out for good, Desire moves in, applies his extensive skills at CPR, and raises him back up. He won’t stay down. And driving him back is a painful, enervating process. Discouraging at best. Sisyphean.
Then I begin to wonder if the reason that engaging in the battle is so exhausting is that I’m engaging in the battle. I get this picture of Christ raising His sword to deal the death blow and me suddenly jumping in between and pummeling at the enemy with my tiny fists. He looks down at me with one eyebrow raised and flicks me away with a finger. I jump back in and begin swinging again, bashing my fists against the plates of his armor until I fall in a bloody, exhausted heap. Meanwhile Christ is standing there, sword raised, but unable to engage the enemy Himself with me in the way. I see the enemy look across at Jesus, a sneering grin snaking across his face, a looking of defiance and daring in his eyes. “Oh! Ow! Oh!” he cries for my benefit. “Stop! That really hurts!” And, of course, encouraged, I begin swinging again.
And so it continues. Sisyphus descends.
I need to get inside Christ where I belong as God’s child. I need to let Him take the blows, and deliver them as well. That was what all the blood and gore was about on the Cross; Him taking the blows. That includes the blows thrown at me by other humans. Did someone offend me? No. They may intend to, but they can’t offend me without offending Him first because I’m inside Him. He takes the blows. He surrounds me, infuses me, deflects from me every attack, both human and spiritual. Here’s Paul:
Romans 13:14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.
O.K., if I put something on, it covers me. It protects me. Nothing can get to me without going through what I put on. In addition, Paul does not say “battle it out with the flesh until you win and don’t give up.” Instead he says, “don’t provide stuff for your desires.” Now that’s different. To provide stuff for my desires I have to take Christ off in order to get the stuff. Then I’m no longer protected. These are choices I make.
It’s not just Paul. Jesus prayed for His disciples, and by extension, for us with these words:
"I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word; (21) that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me. (22) "The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one; (23) I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me." John 17:20-23
Remember the Babushka doll? You open it and there’s another one inside, and you open that one and there’s another one inside, and you open that and there’s another one, etc. In Christ I’m way down there at the bottom inside both Christ and God and then Christ is inside of me. How much more protection can I have? The only time I lose it is when I come OUT to find the stuff I “need” to satisfy my own desires; stuff to feed my pride, my loneliness, my hurt feelings, my resentment, my bitterness. That’s when it's open season on Les. Do I want to defeat Self? Then I don't fight him. I starve him. Fighting is God's. My part is to believe.
When I say I believe, I don’t mean I believe stuff about God. I don’t believe ABOUT God. I believe IN God. That is, I believe God FROM WITHIN Him. Even the devil himself believes God from the outside. This distinction is profound enough to change my life right now if I let it sink in. The next time someone attacks me verbally, I’m going to see Christ around me, deflecting the harshness and the abuse, taking it on Himself. I’m going to be like the students in the Peanuts cartoon listening to the teacher drone, “Wah wa-wa-wah, wa-wa-wah wah wah wa-wah.”
This week I’m not going to fight the battle. I’m just going to stand. But I’m not just going to stand, I’m going to stand
inside.
My name shall no longer be Sisyphus.
Father I submit this week to you. I accept your gift of protection and allow you to absorb the blows that others direct toward me. Put a guard over my mouth and watch the door to my lips so that I might not judge the heart of anyone you send to me. Keep me from aiming blows at others that you must then absorb for them. Help me to see that when I hurt my spouse, or another brother or sister in You that I am hurting You directly. Open my eyes to see every sin in my heart the way you see it, so that I will be tenderhearted toward those who would offend me. Search me and know every thought and imagination, and direct my path through your heart. Give me to think like You think, love what You love, and hate what You hate. Amen
It’s Sisyphean. Sisyphus was a king of Corinth in Greek mythology. He was not a good guy, to be very generous in his description. So when he died, his punishment was to roll a giant stone up a steep hill, a stone of just such a mass and dimension that as it reached the top it would get out of control and roll back down. Sisyphus would then have to descend and start again. This he was condemned to repeat for all eternity. So when you refer to a task as “Sisyphean” [sis-uh-fee-uhn] you’re expressing a feeling of utter futility.
Dying to Self is a Sisyphean task. The battle seems unending. Every time I think I’ve knocked Self out for good, Desire moves in, applies his extensive skills at CPR, and raises him back up. He won’t stay down. And driving him back is a painful, enervating process. Discouraging at best. Sisyphean.
Then I begin to wonder if the reason that engaging in the battle is so exhausting is that I’m engaging in the battle. I get this picture of Christ raising His sword to deal the death blow and me suddenly jumping in between and pummeling at the enemy with my tiny fists. He looks down at me with one eyebrow raised and flicks me away with a finger. I jump back in and begin swinging again, bashing my fists against the plates of his armor until I fall in a bloody, exhausted heap. Meanwhile Christ is standing there, sword raised, but unable to engage the enemy Himself with me in the way. I see the enemy look across at Jesus, a sneering grin snaking across his face, a looking of defiance and daring in his eyes. “Oh! Ow! Oh!” he cries for my benefit. “Stop! That really hurts!” And, of course, encouraged, I begin swinging again.
And so it continues. Sisyphus descends.
I need to get inside Christ where I belong as God’s child. I need to let Him take the blows, and deliver them as well. That was what all the blood and gore was about on the Cross; Him taking the blows. That includes the blows thrown at me by other humans. Did someone offend me? No. They may intend to, but they can’t offend me without offending Him first because I’m inside Him. He takes the blows. He surrounds me, infuses me, deflects from me every attack, both human and spiritual. Here’s Paul:
Romans 13:14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.
O.K., if I put something on, it covers me. It protects me. Nothing can get to me without going through what I put on. In addition, Paul does not say “battle it out with the flesh until you win and don’t give up.” Instead he says, “don’t provide stuff for your desires.” Now that’s different. To provide stuff for my desires I have to take Christ off in order to get the stuff. Then I’m no longer protected. These are choices I make.
It’s not just Paul. Jesus prayed for His disciples, and by extension, for us with these words:
"I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word; (21) that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me. (22) "The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one; (23) I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me." John 17:20-23
Remember the Babushka doll? You open it and there’s another one inside, and you open that one and there’s another one inside, and you open that and there’s another one, etc. In Christ I’m way down there at the bottom inside both Christ and God and then Christ is inside of me. How much more protection can I have? The only time I lose it is when I come OUT to find the stuff I “need” to satisfy my own desires; stuff to feed my pride, my loneliness, my hurt feelings, my resentment, my bitterness. That’s when it's open season on Les. Do I want to defeat Self? Then I don't fight him. I starve him. Fighting is God's. My part is to believe.
When I say I believe, I don’t mean I believe stuff about God. I don’t believe ABOUT God. I believe IN God. That is, I believe God FROM WITHIN Him. Even the devil himself believes God from the outside. This distinction is profound enough to change my life right now if I let it sink in. The next time someone attacks me verbally, I’m going to see Christ around me, deflecting the harshness and the abuse, taking it on Himself. I’m going to be like the students in the Peanuts cartoon listening to the teacher drone, “Wah wa-wa-wah, wa-wa-wah wah wah wa-wah.”
This week I’m not going to fight the battle. I’m just going to stand. But I’m not just going to stand, I’m going to stand
inside.
My name shall no longer be Sisyphus.
Father I submit this week to you. I accept your gift of protection and allow you to absorb the blows that others direct toward me. Put a guard over my mouth and watch the door to my lips so that I might not judge the heart of anyone you send to me. Keep me from aiming blows at others that you must then absorb for them. Help me to see that when I hurt my spouse, or another brother or sister in You that I am hurting You directly. Open my eyes to see every sin in my heart the way you see it, so that I will be tenderhearted toward those who would offend me. Search me and know every thought and imagination, and direct my path through your heart. Give me to think like You think, love what You love, and hate what You hate. Amen
My Dreariest Brother, The forging process is a long and hard one, and not very fun for the element being forged. Much like the refining process. Just know that I love you very much and I know that the GOD we both serve love's you even more. Try to think of it as a complement that HE feels, knows, that you are capable of handling all the life in this fallen world throws your way. I too know, without question, that you are able to handle everything the enemy throws at you. You are strong, your faith is strong, and your relationship with our GOD is strong. Both GOD and I are here for you whenever you might need us, just ask. It is an honor to serve GOD with a brother like you by my side. Thank-you for all you have thought and shown me. You have truly been a blessing and GOD sent in my life and for that I am grateful. I know sometimes we do not see the impact we have on others so just know, in case you didn't already, that your friendship has impacted my life greatly and I am a better person today having known you. I thank GOD for you and for bringing you into my life. I have never known a man in my whole life that displays the compassion of GOD like you do. You have shown me what a truly compassionate man look like and for that I am grateful. I can only hope to learn from your example and one day I might come close to a fraction of the compassion that you have shown to me and others. Thank-you again my brother, I love you very much. You are very valuable to our GOD and me. Take good care of yourself.
Posted by: Joshua Tinsley | April 21, 2010 at 04:21 PM
Josh:
Man, thank-you for replying. You totally made my day, and it's good to hear from you. God bless you, and I hope to see you soon again.
Posted by: Les | April 24, 2010 at 12:11 PM