Always be humble
and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because
of your love. (Ephesians 4:2 NLT)
Make
allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.
Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. (Colossians 3:13 NLT)
"So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do
also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. (Matthew 7:12 ESV)
And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to
them. (Luke 6:31 ESV)
For the whole law is fulfilled in one
word: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Galatians 5:14 ESV)
Have
you ever had someone admonish you for doing something that they themselves are
constantly guilty of? Happens all the
time, right? “What a hypocrite!” we
say. What we want to say, and sometimes
do, is, “Yeah? What about you? You do the same thing!” Then follows an argument of accusation and
denial that has the dark angels in the spiritual realms dancing and giggling
with glee. The enemy wins on three
fronts; 1) he separates us from God’s presence by taking your mind off
confession of your own sin, 2) he separates the other person from God’s
presence in the same way, 3) he separates the both of us from each other,
stoking the fires of anger and offense that can burn and smoulder for days,
weeks, and sometimes for good. It is a
huge victory for him that we hand over without a fight.
One
of the most useful skills we can develop as Christians is the ability to turn
our thinking around and stand in the place of another person. And yet it is appallingly rare. When someone is accusing me of something that
I’ve seen them do, the information that I should process is that they are
unaware of their own fault in this thing.
Instead of pointing this out to them and handing the enemy a free
victory, I should ask myself, “What shortcomings in my life am I so unaware of
that I feel free to point them out in the lives of others?” Between me and God it doesn’t matter that
they are guilty of this thing also. What
only matters is that I am. It doesn’t
matter how I compare to them, it only matters how I compare to God.
So when someone
else points out my fault, and my instant reaction is one of pride (“You’re no
better than I am”), I immediately sin again.
I double my indemnity. More
dancing and giggling in the enemy camp.
The proper response is humility before God. This is also true when I accuse someone of a
thing and they point out to me that I am guilty of the same offense. My response should be immediate humility
before God. In God’s eyes, the faults of
others are irrelevant to my relationship with Him.
Our
goal, as fallen creatures, is always to feel good about ourselves. We accomplish this by comparing ourselves to
others in order to convince ourselves that we’re O.K. It is a grave delusion to convince myself
that I am successful when others fail.
It leads to spiritual deadness.
It leads to self-obsession. It
leads to the Pharisee’s prayer; “God, I thank you that I am not like other
men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.” (Luke
18:11 ESV)
How
often have I prayed that prayer without knowing it? Every time I compare my behavior to someone
else in order to feel O.K. about myself.
Every time I point out a sin in another person that I myself have been
guilty of.
Should
we then never admonish each other when we see someone drifting? Of course not.
Let the righteous strike me, let him
correct me; it will be an act of love. Let my head not refuse such choice
oil... (Psalms 141:5 CJB)
What
if our conversation went more like this?
A brother corrects me. Instead of
being offended I thank him and we pray together. I confess.
If I do feel convicted to point out the similarity of his behavior, he
thanks me and we pray together. He
confesses. The common denominator of our
sin binds us together and draws us to our Father who forgives freely. We then agree to hold each other accountable
for this thing in the future. The enemy
is fuming because he has lost the battle on three fronts. No more fun for him.
What
would the church look like if we actually played this out? What if we really did make allowances for
each others’ faults as readily as we do for our own? What if we actually obeyed God’s command to
treat each other with the unconditional love that we desire for ourselves?
But
the most sobering question of all is, “Why, after 2,000+ years of knowing
Christ’s teaching is this most basic and foundational command from the lips of
our Savior who suffered so much for it, such a distant goal in our daily lives?” It is so elementary that it should be second
nature by now. Why do we continue to
pursue other goals first?
It
is this skill that defines us as His children in the eyes of beings both on
earth and in the heavens.
By this all people will know that you
are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:35 ESV)
...so that through the church the
manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in
the heavenly places. (Ephesians 3:10 ESV)
Until we get this, and
until we act on it, all our efforts to follow Christ’s example are
superfluous. If we don’t come from this
foundation, every good thing that we do is nothing but noise (1 Corinthians
13:1f
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