Pressing On... Backwards?

We walk backwards.  We can’t help it, it’s how we’re made.  When you were growing up, did anyone ever tell you to “Watch where you’re going?”  I heard that all the time.  Now that I teach elementary school, I find myself saying it all the time.  Kids are always running one way while looking another.  That takes a great deal of faith.  Kids have it.  Of course, they often collide with stuff, hence our “adult” admonition, “Watch where you’re going!”

Well that’s good advice in our 3-dimensional universe.  But when we think in terms of the dimension of time, it’s quite impossible.  In terms of past, present, and future, it is ludicrous advice to tell me to “Watch where I’m going.”  There’s nothing to see.  I can’t know the future, see the future, or even guess the future.  Yet that is the direction I’m moving, and there’s nothing I can do about it.  I move into the future, but all I can see is the past.

Dr. Skip Moen makes this point beautifully in a word study on Exodus 33.  Moses has asked God to show him His glory.  God says that if He does that it will kill Moses, so he says, “I’ll pass before you and cover you, and when I’ve passed by I’ll let you see my back.”  Moen points out that the root of the word here translated as “back” also produces the Hebrew word for “future.”  That root is more about direction than it is about body parts.  From a Hebraic point of view Moses saw God’s glory through His actions in the past.  God could be trusted because He had always been trustworthy.  Moses could not see God coming, but He could clearly see where God had been.  He could see what God had done.

God’s glory is revealed in our perception of God’s work in our lives; what we’ve already seen.  Because He has proven Himself and because we have tuned our spirits to His frequency through study, prayer, and meditation, we recognize His “markers” in our experience.  That keeps us straight on “paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.”

Think of it this way.  If you were physically walking backwards, how could you keep a straight line?  All you need is two or more markers to line up with.  As long as those markers eclipse each other in your line of sight, you are walking straight.  God’s acts in our lives are like those markers.  We focus on them alone.  We don’t let ourselves get distracted by things in our past that would throw us off the path.  We shed those things  and direct our gaze on God and His faithfulness, His steadfast love.  His markers.

 He made known his ways to Moses, his acts to the people of Israel. (Psalms 103:7 ESV)

If we are listening, God makes His acts known to us.  He marks them clearly so that we can use them as our guide.  He was faithful there and there and there, so I can walk backwards into my future with confidence knowing that He is in control.  I have submitted everything to Him.  Without Him I would wander aimlessly into my future colliding with whatever calamities came my way, deluding myself that I was in control of my future.  We can’t see where we’re going.  Control is an illusion.

Paul adds to this idea in an interesting way for me.

 ...one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14 ESV)

Does that sound like a contradiction?  I thought so too.  That’s because we don’t connect the dots the same way the Hebrews would.  Once again, we can only see where we’ve been.  We can’t see where we’re going.  When we “press on” as Paul puts it, we’re pressing on backwards into blind territory (the future).  Yet this does not stop Paul.  He strains into it.  He doesn’t hesitate, because he is focused on what God has done in his life, and He trusts His Abba implicitly.  He is running backward into his future at full speed!

What is it then that Paul means when he says, “forgetting what lies behind?”  Well, for one thing, when we look at our pasts we have to decide what to focus on and what to let go of.  When we tune our spirits into God’s Spirit in our daily walk with Him, we begin to see the places in our pasts where we’ve crashed and burned.  We also learn to see God’s presence there; that He was with us in those things even when we thought He was far away.  If we focus only on those events, our hearts will fill with bitterness, anger, rage, and fear.  We stop moving toward Him and begin to wander aimlessly again.  But when we recognize and focus on His presence in those events we gain courage.  We release the damage and all the bitterness and unforgiveness connected to it, and we concentrate on connecting with His healing presence.

Now I’m going to take a big leap.  You don’t have to follow me here if you don’t want to, but this is where I went and what helped me, so I’m going to share it with you.  Because my issue is fear, and because that fear is deeply rooted in me focusing on my pain in the past and the anxiety that it will repeat itself, here is what God spoke to me in this text.

When I am facing the past, what lies behind me?  That’s right.  The future.  Paul says, “forgetting what lies behind.”  Get it?  For me, I have to stop fearing the future.  I have to forget what “could happen if” and focus on what God has done in my past – what I can see, lining up His markers and moving with confidence, like Paul.  I  have to “forget” about the future.  Maybe you too can connect with that.

 In Broken In, we look into our pasts and find the damage.  We face it head on with each other for support, all holding on to Christ.  Then we look for God’s presence in those sometimes horrific events.  Once we recognize His presence, we shed ourselves of the damage and move on out of ourselves and into Him, knowing that our future is safe in His capable hands.

So now that you know, line ‘em up, and press on.  God bless you on this journey.